It's a Dog's Life

Excuse me for my lack of posting, again, but getting another dog has come with a new full time career: outwitting the wily escape artist.

In the past week+, I have been busy reinforcing, rebuilding, rethinking, and adding catches and latches and gates. I have dug all around my deck and buried planking (hopefully) down past a dog's tunneling ability.

Meet Amphissa (a type of olive). We call her Ampy, because at times she can be a crazy amped up terrier. And of course, a rescue dog never comes without issues. This street dog knows no commands other than sit (we start dog school in two weeks). I still haven't convinced her that it's not ok to sit on the kitchen table and wait for me to come home.

Still, Olive couldn't have asked for a better match, as she and her new best bud spend mass quantities of time happily knocking each other around the triple reinforced fenced yard. They both sleep through thunderstorms, get terrorized by shadows that try to come in the car windows to attack them, and are both non-morning dogs. Nothing beats having a good mate to help terrorize chipmunks and rid the yard of moles.

Goodness knows I needed another tick collector in my life.

Thanks, google

Do you know how hard it is to find good stalkers nowadays?

It’s not like it was in the old days, before the advent of the internet. To be a good stalker, you had to go out and actually find a suitable victim to follow. The time and expense alone weeded out the weak. Not everyone could waste hours touring shopping malls, seedy bistros, used car lots, or other stalkee rich venues, before even beginning to prowl through someone’s life. The dangers inherent in actually physically stalking a person were so much greater. Getting poison ivy while lurking in the bushes was the worst. With no chat forums to support you with the legalities of how far you could go, the odds of getting arrested were huge.

Now that anyone can be a stalker with the simple click of a mouse, without leaving the comfort of home, the quality has deteriorated so greatly that it’s like trying to find a piece of stainless steel in West Marine that doesn’t stick to a magnet or rust the minute you get it wet.

With google blocking my blog as spam, I fear I may have lost the decent stalkers that I worked hard to collect, by crossing that fine line between giving them so much that they didn’t feel special, to that point where they didn’t get enough and went away unsatisfied.

So to you my cherished stalkers, I apologize. Now that my blog has been granted a reprieve from the firing squad, please come back, and I’ll do my best to remain a decent stalkee for you.

Have you seen my marbles?

After spending two solid months working on my boat 12-14 hours a day, the boat went back into the water looking brand new. There was still a boat load of little fiddly projects to be done, but the massive projects were complete. As the boat splashed down, along with a huge sense of accomplishment, I got the overwhelming sensation that I had at least one more boat rebuild in me.

I carried that feeling up until that damn tick got hold of me. Now? Heck, I can’t even rebuild myself, let alone an entire boat. Almost overnight, I morphed from a highly organized, ultra efficient, energetic, fit young human, into a inconscient middle ager. That focused drive I used have? Hmph. Let’s look at an example of how things unfold for me now:

I want to make a shelf for the bathroom. Simple, right? Get a board, cut it to size, screw the brackets to the wall, attach the shelf. On this fine spring morning, let’s get started, shall we? Where the heck did I stash that piece of wood?

I look under the trailer. Look, there’s my rake. I’ve been looking all over for that. I fish out the rake and use it clear some of the debris from the yard. Oh yeah, I was looking for that board, wasn’t I? I head over to house to the basement. No board, but hey, look, the washer. I have to do laundry. I trudge back across the yard, fetch my laundry, and get that started. Oh yeah, the board. Hey, there it is up in the branches of that tree. I wonder why I put it there? Oh well nevermind. I fetch it out. Drat, I need the saw. Where is that? Upstairs in my shop. Back across the yard, go upstairs, get the saw. I see the freezer. Right, I need to defrost some meat for dinner tonight. Look at all that ice in here. This freezer needs defrosting. I may as well sew up the rip in these pants while I wait for the ice to melt. Good job, that’s done.

What was I doing? Oh yeah, a shelf in the bathroom. Back to my place. Forgot the saw, didn’t I? Return back across the yard and upstairs to my shop. Pick up the meat I forgot. That trash bin is kind of full, maybe I should take it out. Head to the dumpster. Go back to work on the shelf. Forgot the saw again, didn’t I? Back to the shop. Oh my, I should water those poor plants. Go downstairs, fetch water, go back upstairs, water plants. Start back downstairs. Dammit, the saw. Finally remembered!

Cut the board. Now, we’re getting somewhere. Hey, look over there by that wall, flowers! Yippee, spring! Walk over to check out the flowers. The bed needs weeding. What was I doing before? Oh yeah, the bathroom shelf. Head back to work on that. The dog greets me. She needs a walk. Let’s take a turn around the fields.

What was I doing? Oh yeah, the bathroom shelf. Look at those dirty car windows! I’d better clean them before my trip to CT tomorrow. Go inside to get window cleaner. What a mess; I left my breakfast dishes. I’d better wash those before they get any crustier. I should check my email to find out what time we’re supposed to meet on Thursday. Appears as though it’s about to rain, and my saw is out there. I’d better get that board in too. Shoot, I need to bring in some wood for the stove. Hey, wasn’t I doing laundry a couple of hours ago? Trudge over and put that in the dryer. Notice the bicycle stored there for the winter. It has a flat tire. Well, it’s almost bike riding season. I should get that out, clean it up, and pump up the tires.

There, now I’m ready to ride. Put the bike back in the basement. Really, it looks like it’s going to snow, not rain. NOOOOO!!! It can’t; it’s spring. Snow will hurt those pretty young flowers. Where did my snow shovel get to? What was I doing? Oh yeah, the bathroom shelf. Damn, the drill needs charging. What will I do for half an hour while that charges? I need to go to the store. Now is a good time.

Go to the store. See that long overdue library book while loading groceries. Take it back. Browse for another book. Remember that groceries are in the car. Go home. Put them away. Dammit, out of those 27 items I bought, I forgot butter, eggs, carrots, tamari sauce, tea bags, kefir and broccoli. Moron. At least I remembered the yogurt raisins. What was I doing before? Oh yeah, the bathroom shelf. I’d better get my skates on. I’m starving. Did I eat lunch? No, forgot again. No wonder I’m so skinny. I’d better marinate that chicken. I’ll have a handful of raisins to keep me going. Drill’s charged. Let’s get that shelf installed. Crap, didn’t I have laundry in the dryer? I’d better get that before it gets dark.

The dog wants to play with her Frisbee. Sure, why not? Toss it until it’s really too dark to see. Ok dog, come in now, before the coyotes come out to eat you. Oh yeah, that bathroom shelf. But first I’d better put the laundry away. Then maybe I should vacuum. Tracked in a lot of crap today. Oh, but before I do that, I should finish that shelf.

AND FINALLY, I FINISH THE SHELF!

It’s dark and I’m exhausted. How the heck did I get so tired when all I did today was make a bathroom shelf?

And there you have it. It’s hard to live with myself. Aren’t you glad you don’t have to?*

*Is it any wonder I haven't posted for so long? I simply get side tracked by all the shiny objects in my path.

Life is like a clean, empty slate

I have nothing to post at this time. My mind is filled with a blank whiteness that won't go away. Jumping up and down doesn't break through it. Whacking it with an axe or trying to set it on fire with hot embers doesn't clear the white film from my sight. I concede defeat, and will have to learn to live with the blank whiteness, until, given some miracle I no longer believe in, the blank whiteness melts away of its own accord.

Winter Camping

Living in a 30 foot RV, you’d think I’d be miserable, camped out in the snow all winter.

You’d be wrong. Yeah, that surprised me too.

I’ll admit it; the start of the cold weather season was tough. The fire wood that had been freshly pulled from the swamp did nothing but smoke and make creosote in my wood stove. I did manage to successfully burn an entire winter’s worth of kindling in a couple of weeks, trying in vain to get the swamp wood alight. As convenient as it was to not have to add any more clothing layers before going outside, I began to tire of wearing my hat and gloves inside all the time. As condensation dripped off everything, I began to wonder where I had stashed my foul weather gear.

I was sure I wouldn’t make it. As my friends watched me suffer, they were anticipating the ‘moving Kit back into the house’ breakfast party.

And then someone swapped me a load of real, non swamp-infested wood in exchange for some canvas work.

Nothing beats a wood stove. My favorite winter morning pastime is to get it cranked to 82 in here, and then don my summer wardrobe, which consists of, well, let’s just say it creates no laundry. On milder days, when temps hover around 20, I can even open the outer door, leaving the storm door in place, which thrills the dog no end, because she can come and go through her dog door at will. For a canine, nothing beats dashing out after squirrels, and then popping back in for a biscuit and a thaw by the wood stove before heading back out for more fun in the snow.




Life ain't so bad.



Now, if we could get rid of that daily snow shoveling routine, I might not even mind winter so much.