AP: Officials: Pirates, terrorists not linked directly

That’s such a relief. I’d hate to think that the pirates sold out, or were bought out, or taken over in a corporate merger. Glad to know they are making it on their own.

I love how the government has coined, and the media glommed onto, the term ‘terrorist’. We’re supposed to quiver in our strappy sandals, and be forever grateful that we have the protection of our government, to keep us safe from such creatures that lurk outside our doors at all hours.

There always has to be a group out to get us:
Russians
Germans
Indians

Our ancestors eradicated the Indian threat, and we turned the Germans into our buds so we could drink their beer. The Russians fell apart of their own accord.

I remember the ‘Russian threat’ growing up. In school, we used to have drills where we had to practice hiding under our desks in the event of a nuclear attack. Even as young as I was, I knew that the underside of my desk was futile protection from harmful radiation. I played along to avoid calls to my parents and trips to the principal, but vowed that if there ever was an actual real live nuclear explosion, the last thing I was going to do was hide under my desk, because let’s face it, wads of gum, carvings of ‘j.c. luvs a.g. 4evr’, and old boogers, would be the last thing I’d ever see. Forget that. If there were to be a mushroom cloud, by gosh, I was gonna run to the window and look at it. Cool, that is so awesome… Our government was very clever in naming the next dangerous group to threaten our safety and well-being. Let’s just call them terrorists, shall we, because that’s not racial, and we can apply it to any group we want, as it suits us. That way each generation won’t have to go to all the hassle of thinking up a new moniker. We’ve got it covered.