Why run with the crowd when you can run around in circles?

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Burned out on Christmas


Maybe if it hadn’t started in September, I wouldn’t be sick of it. And playing Christmas carols two weeks before thanksgiving? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

I try my best to support my wonderful local hardware store filled with personable, knowledgeable staff, but occasionally find that I have to set foot in that big dumb chain hardware store, like the other night. My hardware store closes at six. I foolishly ran out of thread sealant tape at 7, and if I didn’t go get some right then to finish the plumbing job, there would have been no water until the next day.

Ever since there were green leaves on the trees, I’ve I entered through the contractors entrance in an attempt to avoid the massive Christmas display. I also try to avoid the orange panhandling employees, which is nearly impossible. 'Would you like a quote on a new kitchen?' 'Can we interest you in our flooring?' 'May I show you some options for window replacements?' 'Do you want to see what’s under my orange vest?'

GO AWAY. I JUST WANT SOME DAMN TAPE.

What pushed me over the edge the other night wasn’t that it was impossible not be whacked in the face with a poinsettia in every aisle, nor was it the Christmas music playing for the second month in a row. It was the guy standing next to me, loudly humming along to the carol, completely off key.

I’m blaming this completely traumatic event on the fact that Christmas is now a week away, and I’ve done absolutely NOTHING.*

Can I pull it off before Sunday? Will I find the motivation to care?




*We won’t mention the fact that I just found out that Christmas was a week away, not two like I thought.

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