The Way It Was

Life is fluid. That doesn’t mean it’s all wet, leaky or suffering from water retention. Okay, maybe sometimes that’s true. But what I mean is that life moves, changes, flows. Life is not supposed to remain the same forever and always. How boring would that be?

So saying, and having lived in the natural cycle of life for quite a while, I am a bit surprised at returning to the ‘real’ world and discovering that society seems to think that everything should remain the same for all eternity. Is it only my perception, having been out of touch for so long, or is this actually true?

I noticed that while touring state parks awhile back, questioning certain rules, each and every ranger said, state to state, “we’re trying to keep it the way it was when the first Europeans arrived.” Huh? If that’s the case, why are there parking lots? Marked trails? Public bathrooms? Vending machines? And where are the Indians? In coastal parks, I bet the first Europeans would have been thrilled to land in a rugged, foreign environment and find a concession stand on the beach to refresh themselves after their long, arduous journey across the sea. Imagine their joy when they discovered the bathrooms and showers right there in the parking lot, after weeks of being aboard a salt encrusted boat. And as they traveled inland, traveling down roads filled with the same chain stores repeated unendingly through small town after town, how wonderful it would have been to pull into a nicely paved campground after sitting in traffic all day. Oh, the joy of that hot shower after which they could have a pizza delivered to the campsite. But no, when the first Europeans landed, they had to shoot their own food, pee on the ground, sleep there too, and defend themselves against attacks from the soon-to-be previous tenants of the land.

While I can appreciate trying to preserve some of our heritage, how about if we keep it the way it was when the dinosaurs were around? Or when life was nothing but tiny organisms crawling around in the muck? I’d like to see that. This whole ‘life began with Columbus’ crap gets on my nerves something fierce. But then maybe that’s just my vanquished Cherokee side talking.

Chocolate Sucks

Am I the only person on the entire planet, and maybe beings from other planets too that we don’t know about who jet down in their space ships in the dark of night to sneak into the Hershey’s factory and nip kisses when no one is looking, who doesn’t like chocolate?

At a recent social gathering, I was offered a piece of chocolate cake, and said “no thank you, I don’t like chocolate”. I have learned over the years that I have to explain why I don’t want dessert, or I get a lecture about how ‘you’re so thin you can afford it and a little won’t kill you and are you sure you won’t have some yadda yadda yadda.’ Why does everyone do that? If I don’t want to eat crap, why do people feel they have to talk me into it? Anyway, having given my explanation for not wanting a piece of cake, all conversation in the room stopped, and every head swiveled in my direction. If I had run into the house all bloody, wielding a large ax, screaming, “I just chopped up five people”, I don’t think the looks I got would have been any more horrified than they were by my simply saying that chocolate was not for me.

So now I am wondering, am I alone in this universe? Is there anyone else out there who doesn’t drool when passing brown mounds of sugary goo?

Heavenly Crap

Just when you think it’s safe to come out, another illusion is shattered all to heck. Discovering the truth about falling stars is even more traumatic than finding that Santa doesn’t exist. I think back, recalling all those years of long night watches, lying out on deck, the boat sailing merrily along on autopilot. I spent hours gazing up at the heavens, wishing upon shooting stars. No wonder life is s**t. Wishing on the stuff would probably have that trickle down effect, wouldn’t it?