Buried

By now most of you know my strong aversion to funerals.  All that sad boo-hoo, woe is me, why did my loved one have to die?  I dunno, because he/she was 102 and that’s how life works?  Yes, it is tragic when someone living a wonderful life has to go, and you will miss them to the ends of the earth.  No doubt about it, death sucks for the living. But funerals don’t seem to me to be a good way to celebrate someone’s life.

My friends know what to do with me when I push off for the next port.  Cremate me; stick me in a clear mason jar.  Put me on the ‘round table’ at my favorite shipyard, where everyone gathers.  On a pedestal of course, so I can see over the booze bottles.  Make sure there’s lobster and mussels.  Have a big, happy party.  Tell funny stories about me.  No crying!  I lived well, and it was my time, even if it wasn’t.   Then, at the end of the evening, (maybe a less intoxicated person should carry the jar to the water, because I would hate to spend eternity pasted to the blacktop), whoever’s drunkest gets to dump me out the end of the pier in my favorite harbor, so I can theoretically drift on the currents. 

The only problem with this plan is that all my friends are significantly older, so odds are right up there that I’ll be the last man standing.  Which leads to my new plan, as I rapidly approach that age where the early leavers are starting to bugger off with hardly a see ya later.  I don’t want to watch my friends kick off one by one, facing  all those sad, somber funerals that the remaining relatives will put on, leaving no one left to come to my party. 

So, as much as I love you all, sorry, but I’m going to have to replace you all with a bunch of 20 year olds.  

*this post is for 1dozenraw.  Enjoy the next port my friend.

When Life Hands You Chickpeas

PANIC!!!

I feel so bad for these companies that show a bit of something that might actually kill the weakest of our species, which these days seems to be a growing number.  As someone who lives on an organic farm where all precautions are taken at all times, I know just how ridiculously low the acceptable numbers are.  Just like the level of acceptable radiation was low till the earthquake in Japan sent their nuclear reactors’ waste into the air and sea.  After that, governments worldwide raised the acceptable level.  Now a higher level than was previously ok won’t kill us?  Huh, imagine that.

Whenever a company shows a tiny bit of listeria, a common bacteria found in SOIL and WATER, everyone goes nuts and throws away whatever they may have, and will never ever buy that brand again.  I, on the other hand, go the opposite way and buy more, unless it’s already something I don’t eat, like ice cream, which is made with dairy and sugar, two things I avoid.  I still remember the glory days of tomatoes and cantaloupes showing signs of listeria, because, you know, they grow in soil and get watered.  I love both, and during that phase, stores were all but giving them away as no one would buy them.  I wish more fresh food would make this list more often; I could afford to shop again.  I ate gobs of tomatoes and mountains of cantaloupes, until the furor wore off and people forgot and prices crept back up again.

I know that although we are human, we are entities made up of bacteria, as is everything else.  If listeria levels across the board suddenly went up on earth and therefore in everything we eat, the government would simply raise the acceptable level as they did with radiation.  Then none of these ‘scary/dangerous’ foods would be a threat according to the new 'ok' levels.  What would remain the same is that only the weakest would be affected, which is nature intended.  Last I checked she’s still in charge, despite humans believing they control the universe.  And in nature, the weak aren't designed to survive.

I usually make my own hummus using sprouted chickpeas, as it’s cheaper and better, but now, stores will most likely be giving away hummus, so I’m off to the store to splurge.  Think I'll survive?