Why run with the crowd when you can run around in circles?

Monday, December 01, 2008

Oh Deer!


Yesterday there were ice balls on my deck. I never once dared to open the door to go outside. Later it warmed up enough that mass quantities of rain washed away the evil ice, reactivating the mud bath that is my yard. I spent the weekend safely inside, warm and toasty, happily making Christmas gifts, with absolutely no fear of being murdered by impatient, irate shoppers.

Weather variety amazes me. One year, Thanksgiving weekend was so very mild that I decided to make the six hour trek to West Virginia to camp and hike. I departed early Sunday morning, beating traffic, arriving to discover what I’d hoped would be the case: there was no one in the campground besides me and my dogs. Early Monday morning, driving the sixteen miles to the trailhead, I wondered about all the pickup trucks scattered along the roadside. There were eight more in the parking lot when we arrived. What the heck, don’t these rednecks have jobs? Shouldn’t they all be at work today? Why are they out here on ‘my’ trail? Sigh. I let the dogs out, donned my red sweatshirt, and off we hiked on this lovely 60 degree day.

The forest was littered with hunters. Not just sitting in trees, but riding mountain bikes along the trail! Near the end of the twelve mile hike, I accosted a hunter on foot, and asked if it was a tradition to go hang out in the woods instead of going to work, or was the economy really so bad out here in the sticks that they had nothing else to do? Looking at me as though I was a complete imbecile, which given his answer, I was: “it’s the first day of deer season.”

It’s amazing that I’m still alive to tell this tale. Not wanting to ask any more incredibly stupid questions, I went on my way at an accelerated pace, hoping no one would mistake my Jack Russell Terriers for deer. But I did wonder, how could one manage to sneak up on and shoot a deer from a bicycle? And if by some miracle you bagged one, then what? None of the bikes I saw appeared to be equipped with any type of deer carting equipment.
What did I find when the dogs and I reached the van late that afternoon, happily unshot, not once hearing a single gunshot near or far? The ground was littered with tons of deer feet prints that hadn’t been there that morning! At that moment I felt better, because while I may have been stupid enough not to know it was hunting season, at least I hadn’t just been outsmarted by a load of deer who knew the safest place to avoid death on this day was in the parking lot!