Why run with the crowd when you can run around in circles?

Friday, August 07, 2009

The 'NoNikNak' Rule

Being the compulsive obsessive neat freak that I am, I have never liked clutter. Also, I have a tendency to move a lot. The less I have to pack, the better. Besides which, I'm usually broke and tend to live in tiny places, where there's no room and I couldn't afford useless fribble even if I wanted any.

In my housecleaning days, homes full of baubles made me crazy. I attribute most of my insanity to too many years of having to pick up and dust off and under too many hideous home decorations.

When I lived on a sailboat, it was easy to convince people not to give me trinkets. Not only was it clear that there was no space for useless crap, but also, loose flying trolls could become dangerous in a heavy sea. When I recently moved into this spacious abode, I invoked the no knick knack rule, repeatedly and forcefully, to friends and family. I vociferated in no uncertain terms, that just because I've moved off the boat into this big roomy space, don't expect to see any curios you've given me displayed on your next visit. I will have given those bits away, either to someone who likes such notions, or to Goodwill.

So far everyone has taken note. As a general rule, I would much rather be given time, love and understanding, rather than a gift, but if you must, living things, no not puppies kittens ocelots or fish (except maybe that last one to help stock the pond so I don't have to go to the store for dinner), but green growing plants, are acceptable. I am working towards recreating summer green inside my house, in what will probably be a futile attempt to counterbalance winter.

So what's in my house that could be mistaken as a knick knack?

This is NOT a knick knack:
This is a family heirloom, a prototype made by my grandfather over 30 years ago, not long after he and my grandmother moved from the big house in town town, where the mailbox was a slot in the door, to the small house in the country, where they had a real mailbox at the end of the drive. This was what he wanted atop their mailbox at the end of the drive. It was to be wind powered, such as these:
Unfortunately, not wanting to set the neighbors gunning, literally, for them, or offend the Amish, who would most definitely have to turn the other cheek when passing by, my grandmother put the kibosh on that.

These are not knick knacks:
My friend hand carves and sells these. Since we sailed the same routes, he asked me to display them on my boat as advertising. In return, I made him a nifty carry bag and gave him business cards to spread around to promote my canvas business.

These are also not knick knacks:
This is a useful piece of marine hardware. Meet Win and Dex, who used to hang in the rigging of my sailboat to indicate wind direction.

These are not useless decoration:

The power here goes out quite frequently.

This is not a knick knack. This is the entertainment system:


So there you have it. Those are the only items in my house that could be mistaken for bric a brac, and I just wanted to set things straight for the record.