Burned out on Christmas

Maybe if it hadn’t started in September, I wouldn’t be sick of it. And playing Christmas carols two weeks before thanksgiving? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

I try my best to support my wonderful local hardware store filled with personable, knowledgeable staff, but occasionally find that I have to set foot in that big dumb chain hardware store, like the other night. My hardware store closes at six. I foolishly ran out of thread sealant tape at 7, and if I didn’t go get some right then to finish the plumbing job, there would have been no water until the next day.

Ever since there were green leaves on the trees, I’ve I entered through the contractors entrance in an attempt to avoid the massive Christmas display. I also try to avoid the orange panhandling employees, which is nearly impossible. 'Would you like a quote on a new kitchen?' 'Can we interest you in our flooring?' 'May I show you some options for window replacements?' 'Do you want to see what’s under my orange vest?'

GO AWAY. I JUST WANT SOME DAMN TAPE.

What pushed me over the edge the other night wasn’t that it was impossible not be whacked in the face with a poinsettia in every aisle, nor was it the Christmas music playing for the second month in a row. It was the guy standing next to me, loudly humming along to the carol, completely off key.

I’m blaming this completely traumatic event on the fact that Christmas is now a week away, and I’ve done absolutely NOTHING.*

Can I pull it off before Sunday? Will I find the motivation to care?




*We won’t mention the fact that I just found out that Christmas was a week away, not two like I thought.

Party Animal

At 7, I was slurring my words. By 9, I could hardly hold my head up. Finally, I staggered to bed. The next morning, I woke up with pounding head, cotton mouth, eyes puffy. What the hell did I do last night? I tried to remember…

Oh yeah…Nuttin fun, just rode the rollercoaster of low pressure/high pressure. It appears as though post-lyme, my body has become a human barometer.

If this keeps up, I swear I’m taking up drinking.

Stupid human trick

I returned to the farm at 6:15, bringing my dog in from the car on a leash to prevent her from running off into the dangerous darkness. She and I had only been in the house for about fifteen minutes before the very nearby sound of a pack of wild coyotes chasing some poor hapless critter filled the air.

My reaction as my dog barked? I got up and locked the slider. Because while coyotes may be able to open a slider, they can't do so if it's locked...

At least I had the decency to laugh at my silly self.

Behind the times

Just before Turkey day, these critters were crossing the driveway. The thought crossed my mind to speed up and bag one for our meal. Almost unconsciously I found myself gunning it, but alas, nailing one with the delivery van just wasn't as easy as ripping the door off a taxi cab.