Has your loved one sailed off taking all your earthly possessions including your heart and the cat? Are you so busy picking up the pieces of your shattered life that you just can’t find a spare moment to get revenge on your ex loved one? Or are you simply so livid that you don’t even want to see a likeness of the now rotten apple of your eye long enough to stick pins in it?
We here at Alitloff Center have your answer: the automatic voodoo doll. Send us a photo of your soon to be sufferer, and we’ll send you back this handy item. Simply fill it with bird seed, chant the included incantation, and hang it up. Every time a bird picks out a seed, your former till-death-do us-part partner will flinch. Savor the thought that while you are hard at work trying to rebuild your dismantled dreams, your wastrel will be wondering why on earth those bits of flesh are so sore.
Using the Automatic VooDoo Doll
When you are certain the intended victim needs to be punished, this is the proper path for your wrath.
The Chickadee Curse may:
• Home in on the victim as if directed by avian radar.
• Cause them to fear cats, owls and hawks.
• Make them flap their arms a lot.
• Give them a craving for bird seed.
• Cause them to squawk at four in the morning.
• Give them funny sore spots.
Order your automatic voodoo doll today!
4 comments:
Ouch... ooh... OUCH!!... If I send you my photo can you check to see if anyone that looks like me has been the target of someone's revenge. Being a frequent visitor to New Orleans, I take this stuff seriously. I don't need any more bad Gris Gris than I have already accumulated.
Meanwhile thanks for forwarding this site to me several days ago. Rather enjoying a peak into the workings of your mind. That reminds me... put safety glasses on things to get at Home Depot.
Meanwhile, good luck with relationship stuff. Hang in there long enough and it just won't be an issue. Time (read AGE) fixes everything. We miss you in Wickford. Kevin
Don't worry, I remember what you look like and will let you know if someone wants to torture you!
Be in Wickford weekend after next.
Would the Automatic Voodoo Doll also cause my enemies to poop on my neighbors' cars when they take my parking place? That would be worth the cost in itself.
Anything is possible...maybe even sharks in the driver's seat so the trespasser gets a nice nip on hindquarters...
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