Why run with the crowd when you can run around in circles?

Friday, May 22, 2009


That image of the lovely monkey with the lollipop paws has sustained during this week from the black abyss. Although up until now, I thought monkeys had hands and feet, but what do I know, being a gosh darned landlubber and all.

Today, while shoveling nine months of grunge and beer bottles out of a college student rental, proving to myself that I hadn’t really retired after all, I found myself wondering if the monkey sucked on its own limbs when it wanted a tasty treat, and what happened when it rained. Did the lollipops dissolve? Could it get more lollipops at will, or, like the honey bee, once the one stinger was gone, was life over? Did the monkey have to defend those yummy appendages from sweet toothed marauders, or as self protection, did these lollipop limbs taste like pond scum? Although there are creatures that like the taste of pond scum. My dog for one.

As I scrubbed at a shower stall that hadn’t been cleaned since I last shined it up in September, I wished I had a monkey with scrub brush paws. Forget those useless lollipops.

When I took off sailing three years ago, I swore I would never clean another college rental again as long as I lived.
But, these same places are rented by the week in the summer.
And on that one day per week, I make more money per hour cleaning between weekly tenants than I could make walking the streets. It’s hard to say no to earning a week’s wages in half a day.

So, I pay the price in spring by scraping these houses clean after nine months of hard partying by college students, which my clients are happy to pay me the big bucks to do. And after 20 years, even though I’m less enthusiastic now, and slower (anyone who dares suggest that I’m not as spry as I used to be gets a monkey with brass knuckles), no one even comes close to knocking me off my cleaning throne. And yes, it annoys me greatly to be the best at something even a monkey could do.

Finally this week is over. Next week, I can get back to the work I love, the boat canvas creations. This is not work a monkey could do, even if it had seam rippers for paws. This business involves compound curves, oblique angles, and precision measurements to fit right and look good. Not to mention having to be able to sew in a straight line, something that’s difficult for me, given my dislike of the straight and narrow.

Speaking of, I believe I moved sometime last week. I promise to post some pics of the new place when I’m sure that’s really true.

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