Seaworks

This is for my friend who said, "So many of these fireworks remind me of sea life-urchins, jellyfish, sea anemones, even a sea bird flying over looking for a meal."

Whaddya know, she was right!

School's Out

Let the education begin!

After a difficult year of loss and change, barely squeaking through the seventh grade, the kid needed a celebration:



We even let her play with matches. What teenager doesn't like to light stuff on fire?



Get a grip will ya, we were simply having dessert. No need to call DCF just because we let the kid finish making the peach flambe.*


*No minors were served alcohol in the process,
which was a real bummer to the minor.

Home Oil Refinery

Has your waterfront property just become coated in oil? Do you have a fishing boat that's not allowed to catch fish, despite the demand for pre-oiled fish in upscale restaurants and markets?

Don't worry, because now you can turn that disaster into profits with one of our home oil refining units:



Simply collect the tarballs on your land, or skim the oil surrounding your boat, and fire away. You'll now have your own gasoline, diesel, heating oil, motor oil, and heck, with our number one best selling unit, you can even make jet fuel. And anything you make over and above what you can use, big oil must buy back from you, just as the electric company must purchase excess electricity generated from your solar panels or wind generators. Big oil will no longer corner the market with their billion dollar refineries.

Your property values will soar, and your boat will no longer be a rust bucket derelict that no one wants. All the brokers will be on your doorstep with enormous offers.

Contact us today to view our demo and pricing. Hurry, these units are slipping away fast!

On the Rocks

It's not that I don't love you. It's not that I want to give up on us. I don't want to leave you, I want to stay here forever.

But you've been so cold to me for so long, and then sometimes you smother me until I can't breathe. Between your dark moods, and those biting jabs that knock me to the ground, oooof. It's nearly impossible to get up again.

I know that in order for this to work, I have to accept that you are what you are. I'm the one who has to change, adapt, because you won't compromise one inch.

I don't know if I'm up to it. I've tried to make this work for two years now, but am longing for some warmth in my life.

Oh, Rhode Island, I don't know if I can continue to live with so much winter. Which is followed by spring, oh, lovely spring, when everything blooms so beautifully and clogs my lungs with pollen. For an entire week, there's been no sun, no temp above 70. Is this a rerun of last year's wet, cold, soggy non-summer, filled with life-sucking ticks?

I don't think I can take it. It may be better if I pack up and go. But go where???

Ever hear the term 'armchair sailor?' It's a somewhat derogatory term for someone with little or no boating experience, who can expound in great detail about how some nautical catastrophe like sinking, running up on a reef, or getting dismasted in a storm wouldn't have happened to them, because they've read all the manuals.

We have them here too: